30 Day Music Challenge: Day Four

Day Four: A Song That Makes You Sad
Today's question is difficult. I listen to a lot of music when I'm sad, arguably more than I do when I'm happy. There are lots of songs that remind me of times in my life when I've been particularly unhappy. But a song that I can put on knowing it'll make me sad? That's a bit more complicated.

At this point I stopped writing and listened to a few of the songs which I could've potentially chosen with fairly mixed results. For example, Dying by Stone Sour - the opening bars and the lyrics are melancholy but then some quite upbeat guitars kick in which lend themselves more to angsty shouting rather than sadness. The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice is much more of a sad song but it also reminds me of the film Closer which, apart from the opening scene where Natalie Portman and Jude Law are walking towards one another in slow motion, was a huge disappointment to me. I'm tempted by The Cure, The Smiths or Bon Iver as well but, quite apart from the fact I've already chosen one Cure track for this list, I feel like this should be a song that makes me feel sad for a reason not something that's just generally wistful.

With that in mind and on the basis that I can't ramble on about songs that make me feel a bit weepy forever I've gone for Suzanne Vega - Marlene on the Wall. It's probably more of an angsty song than a sad song but every single time I hear the lyrics I remember sitting in my bedroom at midnight wondering how the hell I was ever going to fix the mess I'd managed to land myself in. I was fairly immature and thoughtless, even at the age of 20, and it took a lot to make me grow the hell up. Regardless of my idiocy this is still a beautiful song with wonderfully evocative lyrics but it will always carry a lot of emotional baggage.

"Even if I am in love with you
All this to say, what's it to you?
Observe the blood, the rose tattoo
Of the fingerprints on me from you

Other evidence has shown
That you and I are still alone
We skirt around the danger zone
And don't talk about it later"

30 Day Music Challenge: Day Three

Well I'm racing through these aren't I?! Day three already... Today's question is particularly appropriate at the moment because despite grief, illness and the fact that it still isn't spring I am actually very happy at the moment.

Day Three: A Song That Makes You Happy
In light of my simmering euphoria it's difficult to find a song that doesn't make me happy. However there are a few things which are guaranteed to put a smile on my face and the song I've chosen manages to combine both of them! Firstly, as anyone who has ever had the misfortune to be dragged to Reflex by me will know, I have a very soft spot for cheesy 80's music. Spandau Ballet, Wham!, Europe, Journey - just name the song and I can guarantee I'll have screamed and dragged an innocent victim onto the dancefloor as soon as it came on. In fact one of the reasons I love Glee so much is that cover of Don't Stop Believing...

The other genre of music that makes me bounce up and down with joy however is Ska. I knew next to nothing about ska until I went to uni, I think the only ska band I'd ever heard of was Madness and I didn't even know they were a ska band. However, Durham SU used to put on an alternative club night every term which was pretty much the only time you were likely to hear any kind of rock music in a club in Durham. The first time I went I was desperately trying to look cool and was sort of shuffling away to the music trying to work out if I'd put enough eyeliner on when my friend Katie started bouncing up and down to a song I'd never heard before. I think it was Kicking Pigeons by [spunge] but I couldn't swear to that. Anyway that was when I discovered ska and also when I realised that having fun was far more important than looking cool.

Fast-forward seven years (really??) and, whilst I have learnt that not all ska is happy smily music - I live in Coventry these days and so appreciate the grim industrial wasteland invoked by Ghost Town - I still adore a bit of ska-based silliness. I saw Reel Big Fish last Sunday and it was such a fantastic gig - Kerry and I danced like mad things all night! On the basis of that alone I could probably pick any RBF song and go to my happy place but this was their last encore, it was brilliant and, as I said, I'm a true child of the 80's. So here you go - Take on Me by Reel Big Fish! Happy, happy, happy!

"We're talking away
I don't know what
I'm to say I'll say it anyway
Today's another day to find you
Shying away
I'll be coming for your love, OK?

Take on me, take me on"

30 Day Music Challenge: Day Two

Goodness, two posts in two days - let's see how long I can keep this up! I am quite enjoying this music challenge idea although if you're expecting superior critical analysis and musical taste this list probably isn't the one for you... Anyway, here goes:

Day Two: A Song You Hate
This was much easier to choose a song for than yesterday's challenge - although hate is a word I tend not to use that much when I'm talking about music. I'm not particularly a musical snob - I like a bit of Lady GaGa as much as the next person - and generally will listen to anything once. There are genres of music I'm not that fond of - I've never been a dance music girl and I'm not really clever enough to understand classical music - but it's pretty rare that even the autotuned rubbish that Radio 1 seems to play these days actually stirs me to seething hatred. Having said all that I knew which song I would choose for this question almost as soon as I saw the list - Everyday I Love You Less and Less by The Kaiser Chiefs.

It's odd because generally I quite like the Kaiser Chiefs - they write relatively bouncy northern songs and whilst I was at university they were probably one of my favourite bands. I also used to have a small soft spot for Ricky Wilson after seeing him on Shooting Stars. I haven't listened to much of their stuff in years however I do still have Employment on my ipod so occasionally this song will turn up on shuffle at which juncture I'll press skip as fast as I can... On the surface it's not that offensive, just chirpy lyrics about some bird he doesn't fancy anymore, but every time I listen to the words I want to punch the bastard in the face. I'm not sure whether I'm projecting - I was once in a relationship where the guy I was with found it very difficult to hide his contempt for me which automatically puts me on the side of the girl who is being sung about! However I'm sure I disliked the song before that - I simply don't understand why people continue relationships when they're making one another miserable, let alone why you'd write a pop song about it...

"Everyday I love you less and less
I can't believe once you and me did sex
It makes me sick to think of you undressed
Since everyday I love you less and less
And everyday I love you less and less
You're turning into something I detest
And everybody says that your a mess
Since everyday I love you less and less"

30 Day Music Challenge - Day One!

One of my New Years' resolutions was to blog more frequently which, given that it's now March, is somewhat laughable. The last two months have, however, been high on life-related trauma and low on time to do things like blog, exercise or sit down. I'm going shamelessly plagarise the 30 Day Music Challenge idea from Andy, Nuala and Ness as it seems like a good way of getting into the habit...


Day One: Your Favourite Song
I avoid answering this question all the time. In fact I have spent DAYS thinking about this question and I'm still not convinced I know the answer. I'm quite faddy so the song I'm listening to at the moment tends to be my favourite. However there are some songs which stand out, the ones that get me through the happiest and saddest times in my life as well as the ones that get me out of bed and into work every morning. The song I've chosen - because I have for once managed to make a decision - could actually fit into a lot of the categories on this list. It makes me happy but it's also made me cry. I know all the words, I've danced to it a million times and  it reminds me both of people and places I've loved. It's also a song I've loved since I was little and had no idea who The Cure were or what the song was about, I just liked the chorus! Over the past couple of weeks I've thought about and listened to this song more than I have in years so choosing it seems particularly appropriate.

My favourite song is of course Friday I'm in Love. It's a song which seems to run through the fabric of my life and even at the times in my life when hearing it made me sad it's always been a song I loved. At the moment just hearing the opening bars makes me want to dance like a crazy person so, of all the songs that I love, this is officially the one I love the most.

"I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday I'm in love"

Things I wish I'd known when I was 16...

This is a bit different - my week has involved quite a bit of shouting about various things in my life so I'm not really in the mood for political ranting... However there's a topic that's currently trending on twitter - #tweetyour16yearoldself - and reading other people's thoughts all day has made me think a lot about what exactly I would say if I had just a few minutes with myself at 16.  I remember that, at 16, I really felt like I'd lived a lot of my life already and that my path was already fixed,  I couldn't have been more wrong if I'd tried - in reality it was the point at which I started becoming the person I am today. 

So please step into my DeLorean - we're off back to 2001...

Dear Claire-at-sixteen,

1. It doesn't matter what all those people thought of you in school, in less than ten years time half of them will still be stuck in Wrexham doing exactly the same things with their lives. You, on the other hand, will have escaped - just as you always planned.

2. Stop wasting your time being insecure about your looks - you're not Kate Moss but that's ok because she's a drug taking model! And for god's sake stop worrying about being fat - you never have been and, if you're sensible, you probably never will be. So relax and enjoy that sausage and egg bap - Shelly's will close next year and you might as well enjoy them whilst you can.

3. You like rock music right? Listen to more of it! Buy more CDs and listen to John Peel on Radio 1 whilst you still can.

4. Stop being cynical about relationships - one day you'll work out why they're worth all the hassle. Also, when you get your heart broken just remember it's not the end of the world, it's just another bump in the road.

5. Don't cry when you don't get into Oxford - you'll get into a university which is just as good and you'll have the time of your life when you get there.


6. Driving is much harder than you imagined and it'll take you ages to learn but don't let that get you down - when you do pass your test (and you will!) it'll be terrifying at first but absolutely worth the wait.

7. All the quirks in your personality and all the geeky things you're interested in are the things that make you unique. Don't pretend to be someone else just to fit in - the people who are worth knowing will love you for who you are.

8. Your sister may be annoying now but she'll grow up to be an awesome person and one of your best friends. You both just need to grow up first...

9. Your friends and family are really important. Life is tough sometimes and you've got a lot of that still to come but you'll get through it because you've got fabulous people around you. Don't forget to be there for them when they need you.

10. And finally, smile and be happy. It will all work out for the best, just savour every moment.

Love from your twenty-five year old self  - trust me, it's really not that old once you're here!
xxx

The Shape of Things to Come...

Well, it's been a while but the twin factors of both the Browne Review and the Spending Review have driven me back into the waiting arms of my blog to muse about the reality of the brave new world I welcomed so enthusiastically in May...

First things first - last Wednesday's Spending Review was undoubtedly D-Day - not just for the coalition but for us all. Would it be as terrible as we feared? Well, I have to say no. Don't get me wrong - I'm not going to stand up and cheer about cuts to public spending which are undoubtedly going to make all of our lives more difficult in the short term - but I actually thought it would be worse. In truth, given the unrelentingly doom-laded tone of the media, until I actually read the Spending Review document in full I thought it was worse.

The biggest criticism Labour seem to be able to level at the government is that it's cuts are ideologically driven, that regardless of the country's financial situation the government would have gone on some kind of rampage of oppression - just because they could. Apart from the fact that this argument is somewhat childish it also ignores the fact that this ideological "roll back of the state" will only reduce public spending to 2007 levels - hardly an era of massive underinvestment.  All the things that are being protected or invested in are hardly the choices of an insanely right wing mob - the health service, which will remain unequivocably free at the point of use; international aid and low carbon technologies. Rather these are the priorities of a liberal-minded government with a desire to position Britain well for the future.

The Spending Review isn't however devoid of ideology - quite the opposite - and for that we should be grateful. I certainly don't want anyone making decisions on the government's priorities for the next five years without a clear vision of what it wants the country to look like after those five years. What the CSR sets out is a plan to fundamentally reshape Britain - to create an economy dependent on innovation, enterprise and private sector growth rather than on an ever-expanding public sector, a burgeoning budget deficit and an over-stretched welfare state.

The decisions being taken on welfare and benefits are tough ones but it's important that they are taken. I defy anyone to say that our welfare system doesn't need fixing, I really do. I'm not denying that we should have one - exactly the opposite, it is our ability to care for the poor and vulnerable which makes us an enlightened society. But poverty and reliance on the state for survival should be the absolute last resource not a lifestyle choice. The fact that many children in low income families grow up with no ambition other than have a child, qualify for a council house and, if they're lucky, to stay out of jail is an appalling indictment on this country and one that we should feel ashamed of. Ultimately the reforms Ian Duncan-Smith is proposing will revolutionise the welfare system and improve the quality of thousands of people's lives but to do this the government has to make tough decisions up front, decisions which it is attempting to mitigate, but which will hurt.

However if the choices made in the CSR really deliver the brave new world we were promised in May than ultimately all of us will reap the benefits. Worth the risk? I think so. I hope so...

The Unavoidable Budget

Well, no-one expected it to be pleasant but I'm not sure today's Emergency Budget made anyone (beside cider brewers) particularly happy. However, I can broadly support the ideals that the budget argues it represents - deficit reduction, encouraging enterprise and fairness.

Firstly, deficit reduction - the aim of this budget is ambitious: the balancing of the UK's books by 2015. £113 billion pounds worth of cuts is a big scary number - and £73 billion of these cuts were already set out by Labour (not that you'd be able to tell given their reaction today). But look at our balance sheet, really look without your party political goggles on - it's horrendous and we have to deal with it sooner rather than later. If you think the medicine of this budget is bitter, just envisage the sort of strictures that the IMF would impose. If we can rebalance our books ourselves, then surely we should give it our best shot. Yes it means 25% off departmental budgets and significant reductions to the welfare bill.

However I believe passionately that the state should not be the economy - the public sector is currently bloated and unprofitable and if it were a private enterprise it would have gone into administration years ago. Encouraging enterprise should be the core mission of government, creating a sympathetic environment for people to start and grow businesses.  I meet a lot of people with fantastic ideas that have the potential to make a real impact on people's lives in all sorts of ways - you have to make it easier for people to turn their great ideas into reality. Lower corporation tax, a general commitment to simpler tax regimes and enacting the Conservative manifesto policies on a "one-in, one-out" approach to regulation all appear to be the approach of a government genuinely committed to unleashing enterprise.

Finally, on fairness - I can see that the coalition have genuinely tried to be fair and to target the brunt of any welfare cuts and tax rises at those who earn more. I can genuinely applaud the increase in the personal allowance for basic rate tax earners and I think a refocusing of the benefits system so it helps those genuinely in need without providing an excuse not to work is probably long overdue. The compromise that has clearly been reached on Capital Gains Tax is also fair without being punitive and a bank levy is more than fair, given the help the financial services sector has recieved over the past 18 months. However I've got reasonably serious reservations about the rise in VAT - whilst this may raise significant funds I can't help but think this will punish anyone on low and medium incomes, despite the retention of exemptions for food and children's clothing. The fact that such a tax rise has come about under a coalition government where both parties are diametrically opposed to tax rises in general is perhaps a sign of how bad things are. And despite the howls coming from the Labour benches I cannot help but think that we would have heard exactly the same thing from Alistair Darling today had the spectre of a "rainbow coalition" ever have managed to propel itself into being.

On a slightly separate note, I was also pleasantly surprised by George Osborne not appearing like a complete incompetent at the despatch box - I know he can't help his face but he's never looked like someone you could trust with your money. However he gave a good performance today, delivering a budget which has clearly drawn on both the Conservative policies developed in opposition and the Liberal Democrat's genuinely interesting thoughts on income tax and rebalancing wealth. I'm not sure you could ever argue this budget is truly fair - we're all suffering disproportionately from the prolifigacy of both the banks and the Labour years in general - but I genuinely think that the Coalition has at least tried to think and act in a way that is more progressive and fairer than perhaps a majority Conservative government would have been able to.

All we can do now is wait and see - the early signs from the markets are promising, the Bank of England seems to support the course of action laid out by this budget and investors seem reassured by the new Government's determination to balance the books. But this is going to be the true test of the Coalition - if its ideals of a smaller state, a revitalised private sector and swift action on the structural deficit are the correct ones then in a couple of years time we will all be able to look around and say "well that was tough but we've survived".

The alternative, quite frankly, doesn't bear thinking about.